Autumn is open house and school tour season! Families across NYC are flocking to independent schools across the city to attend these events as one of the first steps in the admissions process. We constantly remind families that school research is one of the most important parts of the admissions journey, and open houses/tours are a key component of research. There’s really no better way to get a sense of a school’s fit for your student and family than by visiting it in-person.

That said, some of the most common questions we receive are about the etiquette of open houses and school tours. Many parents are wondering whether admissions committees are forming impressions of families during these events, and if so, the steps they should take to maximize this first touch point with their schools of interest. Therefore, we’ve compiled a list of “dos” and “don’ts” for school tours and open houses to help you have a successful kickoff to your admissions journey. 

Are You Being Evaluated on Tours and Open Houses? 

Yes. While attendance at open houses and school tours is not an explicit component of the admissions rubric, admissions team members will be present at these events and will be meeting families that attend; therefore, they’ll be making first impressions, whether consciously or not. 

We share this not to make you nervous or to imply that there is a specific set of preparation steps that you need to complete in advance of attending an open house or tour, but rather simply as a reminder that every step of the admissions journey is a chance to make a positive impression on the school’s staff. 

The particular ways that admissions folks could take notice of your family at an event are the questions you ask, any descriptions you offer about what piqued your interest about the school, how interested you generally seem to be in the school, and an overall impression of your conduct and “vibe.” Again, this is not to say that you’ll be entering a high-stakes pressure cooker where you need to perform perfectly; in addition to the dos and don’ts below, all you need to keep in mind is to be engaged and friendly. 

Dos for Open Houses and School Tours

The following dos apply to anyone attending the school tour from your family (parents or students): 

• Do: Be polite and friendly. Being an overall nice person is key when attending school tours and open houses. There’s no need to manufacture an overly friendly persona, but focus on smiling when you engage with staff, being friendly with other parents and students, etc.
  
  
• Do: Wear comfortable, reasonably nice clothes. Your goal is to look put together, but not over the top. There is no need to dress in formal business attire; our recommendation is to wear an outfit like pants and a blouse, a skirt and sweater, or dark-wash jeans and a button-down. If you’re coming from work, it’s completely appropriate to show up in your work clothes; if your student is coming from school, they can absolutely wear their school uniform. Also keep in mind that you may be walking a lot (particularly on tours of larger campuses), so wear comfortable shoes.
  
  
• Do: Be actively engaged. Engagement and interest in the school is one of the things that admissions team members are casually looking for when meeting families. Don’t overdo it, of course, but if you can find moments to politely indicate that you think this school is a great fit for your family for a certain reason, say that! And as the event continues, try to make direct eye contact with presenters, nod along with what they’re saying, and generally appear to be actively engaged. Keep your phone completely away for the duration of the event; if you want to take notes (which we recommend!), use pen and paper.
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• Do: Thank everyone who helps you. Along the same lines of being polite and engaged, remember to be actively grateful for everyone who assists with the event. Thank everyone you cross paths with, from someone who holds a door for you to the event organizers for welcoming you into their school.
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• Do: Follow up with a personal email to anyone who you particularly connect with. At some events, you might have the opportunity to have a longer conversation with admissions team members, tour guides, faculty members, etc. If you do have the opportunity to have a longer chat (you might not, and that’s okay!) and feel like you connected with a certain person, take note of their name and follow up with a personal email to them within a day of the event, thanking them for the conversation and their insights. This is a nice touch to cement a positive first impression of you in their mind. 
  

Don’ts for Open Houses and School Tours

These don'ts also apply to anyone attending the event (parents or students):

• Don't: Be late. As noted above, your overall goal is a positive first impression - which is harmed by showing up to an event late. If possible, be at least 10 minutes early to any events you attend.
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• Don't: Ask questions that can be easily found on the school’s website. While asking questions is an important component of your event attendance (see a list of sample questions below), avoid asking straightforward questions that can easily be found on the school’s website. For example, there’s no need to ask how many students attend the school, what the school’s dropoff and pickup times are, or what math classes the school offers - those kinds of factual questions are best saved for your independent research.
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• Don't: Ask too many questions or hog the staff’s attention. Again, asking questions is a good idea - but asking too many questions or dominating the conversation can give a bad impression. Ask a small number of questions (we recommend asking a total of three or so) in a polite, relaxed way, and then let other attendees ask their own questions.
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• Don't: Immediately debrief while still at the event. As the event ends (or even during the event, as you’re walking around a school), remember to save your debriefing with your spouse or student until you’re fully home. It might be tempting to turn toward each other to note certain things you hear - but particularly for anything you dislike, be careful not to accidentally say anything too loud that you wouldn’t want a staff member to hear. 
  

Sample Questions for Tours and Open Houses

Asking thoughtful questions is one of the best ways to demonstrate your friendly engagement at a school event. As noted above, you want to avoid asking straightforward questions that could be answered from the school’s website; focus instead on subjective questions that rely on the tour guide or staff member’s unique expertise about the school environment. Here are a few sample questions: 

• What type of child does well in this environment? 
• How would you describe the school’s approach to teaching?
• How would you describe the school’s community in three words? 
• What are your favorite school traditions? 
  

With these tips in mind, you’ll be ready to ace your first impression at school tours and open houses. Remember, there’s no need to be nervous - just show up as your friendly, engaged self, and be prepared to learn more about the schools that could end up being an important part of your family’s lives. 

In the thick of research and wondering how to decide which schools are the best fit for your child(ren)? Reach out if you’d like any assistance; Admit NY experts have guided hundreds of NYC families to their best-fit schools, with advice tailored to each family’s unique needs.